Forgive me, for I have sinned

It is what it is, sometimes Carter watches Baby Einstein. 

I know, I'm the worst. I know what the AAP says about infant media use. I know he's probably going to have major ADHD issues. I'm aware that he will probably have to go to therapy for media addiction. I also know that, because of his early media exposure, Carter will likely grow up to be the village idiot. 

And you know what? I'm not too worried about it. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. C'est la vie. You get the idea. 

It's not like Carter has spent 60% of his childhood in front of a screen, he probably hasn't even spent 5% of his childhood in front of a screen. Most of the time we are reading or playing or going for walks, but every once in a while we just have one of those days. Sometimes Carter misses a nap, or I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or I have to shower and Carter won't stop crying, or sometimes I'm just in a bit over my head and I need 5 minutes of alone time in the bathroom without a crying child banging on the door. And so, enter Baby Einstein. 

On days like that Baby Einstein is our sanity saver. It's the difference between a happy, playful mommy and a mommy that needs to be committed. It's the thing that give us both a long enough break that we can recharge and come back together happy and patient. It's our counting-to-ten-and-taking-deep-breaths, if you will. 

And so I am not ashamed. Well, obviously I'm a little ashamed or else I wouldn't feel the need for this defensive and confessional blog post. But that's what motherhood, and life in general, are about. You learn the rules and then you break them in order to stay sane. I've realized that no matter who you are or what you are doing you are going to be doing it wrong according to someone, and if you care what that person thinks then you are never going to be happy. 

So judge me, world. Judge me because sometimes I put Carter to bed on his stomach, because always sometimes he falls asleep with his bottle, and because sometimes I set him down in front of the TV. 

In the long run, I like to think that Carter will remember a mother who sometimes broke the parenting rules and was happy, not a mother who strictly followed the rules and was often on edge and cranky. I've weighed the costs, and I've made the decision that works best for us. If mild infant media use makes for a happy home, then mild infant media use it is.