My job has, I'm sure, moved me 10 years closer to diabetes.

There's something about an elementary school that seems to provide a constant flow of sugars and sweets, all within my grasp. At first I was like a kid set free in a candy store -  eyes wide, heart racing, arms reaching out in every direction. Free candy! Free happiness! Where is it all coming from? Will it ever stop?

It turns out the answer is no, it will never stop. Just as I think the sugar infused goodness that crowds my office has been removed, a child has a birthday and there are leftover cupcakes, or the Kindergarten has baking day and some cinnamon rolls are left unclaimed. 

I live a hard life. 

Having grown up in a house where candy and sweets were literally locked away, and the most exciting item in the panty was a bottomless box of Nilla Wafers, I seem to have developed an inability to turn down sugar. I've heard that children who grow up in those sad, suffering Romanian orphanages experience something similar, if not a bit more extreme. Due to their lack of proper nutrition as a baby, a permanent starvation awareness switch is flipped on in their brain. For the rest of their lives they need to know that they have the availability of food, that it belongs to them, and that can be eaten whenever they like, or they go into survival mode. 

Not unlike me with candy. Is there candy in the house? Why not? What sin have I committed that caused the candy to be taken from me? Can I go get the candy? Can I eat the candy? 

It's perfectly normal. 

No questions, just love.

I thought everyone hated me

I pulled out my phone yesterday morning to send a text to Spencer, but then I realized that I had sent the last nine in our conversation. Awkward. I decided to wait until he broke the chain. But as the day went on there were things I legitimately needed to tell him and he still hadn't sent me anything. I got over my pride and sent the 10th, 11th, and 12th texts in a row. Still no reply. I even told him that I had gotten a job interview knowing that he would reply with excitement, but my phone was still silent. Call me irrational, but I was a little annoyed. By the time I picked him up that night I was moody and mad that he had been ignoring my good news all day! But the first thing he said was, "have you gotten any of my texts today??"

. . . awkward. Turns out he was getting my texts and replying, they just weren't coming through.

So the next day at work my sister called, but I texted her to inform her that I couldn't answer. When she never replied, I realized that she hadn't replied to any of the texts I'd sent over the past few days. When I thought back I realized that no one who I had texted in the past 48 hours had responded. Ouch.

I did a little bit of critical thinking and realized that there might be an issue with my phone. I restarted it and proceeded to get six voicemails and about 48 texts in the next few minutes, they just kept coming!! One was from my sister asking if I could pick her up from the airport . . . my bad. I took these screenshots right after turning my phone back on, but that's only like half the texts that came flooding in.

I'm mostly posting this story for the memory of it, but also as a general apology for not responding to texts/voice mails. I know I'm not always the best at responding right away, but I'm not usually this bad! Let's forgive and forget, people. Forgive and forget.