Mommy Cards

Ok. It's time to talk about it. Those Vista Print commercials, the free 250 business card ones? It's cool and all, but what get me is this line: "... use them as business cards, dating cards, mommy cards and more!"

Am I hearing this wrong? Did they just suggest that I hand out mommy cards? Am I the only one who has no idea what this is? Am I handing out cards letting people know that I am a mother, should they be interested in play dates they can call me? Am I offering mothering classes? Am I saying that I will adopt your unwanted children? 

Ok. I googled it. You guys, mommy cards are a real and actual thing with websites! One of these sites even has a list of the top 10 reasons that you need a mommy card:

Top 10 Reasons to use your Mommy Cards:

1.     New moms you meet and want play dates with

2.     Contact info for Babysitter

3.     Neighbors

4.     Existing friends (the cards are just too cute not to share)

5.     Put in holiday cards, birthday cards, thank you cards and more

6.     When dropping off your child at someone’s house for a play date or birthday party

7.     If your child is lost you can give out the card with their picture on it to help find them

8.     Keep one in your suitcase or diaper bag in case it gets lost

9.     Will make grandparents smile

10. Just for fun!

via http://themommycard.com/pages/TopTen.htm 

This is a joke, right? People realize that cell phones exist and are great for exchanging numbers and showing pictures? 

Is it just me? Are mommy cards a real thing that are actually useful and handed out regularly? Do you have mommy cards and do you find them useful?

Shed the light. Share the knowledge. But mostly, back me up. This is crazy, right?

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A frame for every occasion

It's not a secret, I like to make fun of things. I'm not talking relentless bullying, just a friendly "wait, you're not serious...?" when I feel it is fully deserved. Like this picture frame:

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Five generations? Really? How often do you have your child, you, your mom, your grandma, and your great grandma all alive/in one picture? Is this a common enough occurrence that we need a special frame? If you happen to fall into this category couldn't you like, make your own custom frame?

I guess I just don't have that much faith in people's lifespans. Or maybe it's the fact that I only have two generations I could take a picture with so five seems absurd and a little far-fetched.

Is it just me? Do you have five generations still kicking? Am I the odd man out because my grandparents died young(ish)? If you happen to have five generations hanging out send me a picture so I can build a shrine to you in my home. Also so I know to stop mocking this frame.

Don't eat your children

I came across this little combination of words while doing my daily Pinterest scroll and I proceeded to shutter. Jennie and I have noticed something: parents often refer to wanting to "eat their children up." I guess it's a cuteness thing? Would I understand if I were a parent? I don't know, but I find this statement to be utterly creepy in every way.

Parents, let's stop promoting cannibalism and do this thing old style. You want to pinch your child's cheeks? Awesome. You want to snuggle with them, hold them close, stare at them all day? Cool. If I had a mini-human that looked like a mixture of Spencer and me I would want to stare at it all day too. But I would not eat it, because then it would be gone and I would be left with lawsuits.

You may be shaking your head knowing I'll understand one day. Maybe, but you will never know because my pride would keep me from ever admitting it.

Anonymity

You wanna know what still blows my mind/has me completely curious?

This.

I am still looking for any information regarding the sender. I wish I had put more effort into discovery work at the time. I am sure it will only get harder as time goes on.