Intentionality

I realize I'm a little late for a Valentines related post, so yes. That is all I have to say about that.

I've been on a big intentionality kick lately - I want to make sure that we have traditions, routines and rituals that our kids can count on and that they can carry on to their own families. I want to be the fun mom who makes pizza every Saturday and who always makes my kid's birthdays extra special. I've always known that being intentional about family time is something I wanted to be really proactive about, but I guess I never really realized how much WORK it would be. 

Seriously. It turns out that if you want to have memories, you actually have to make them. A few years ago I found myself thinking how much easier it would be to just not decorate for Christmas. I mean seriously! You spend an entire weekend removing all of your decorations, pulling new ones out, and then doing the whole thing over again in a month. Let's just skip the tradition and be on with our lives! Also, imagine the storage space you could open up if you didn't keep holiday-specific decorations around. The possibilities are endless! I digress. Christmas is important and so are traditions. Decorations it is.

One tradition we had growing up was bringing Valentines cookies to our friends. I have always wanted to carry on this tradition, and I figured this year was a good one to start. Let me tell you, it was a serious reminder of how much work it will be to actually have legitimate family traditions. I mean, I've made sugar cookies before, it's not a big deal. But for some reason the whole process became 300 times more complicated when we were doing it for a purpose, and I realized that when there are little hands wanting to crack the eggs and frost the cookies the endeavor will become 300 times more complicated. But that's ok. I want my kids to have memories and special traditions. I want our family to be close and connected. If you want something you have to work for it, right? And what could be more important to work for than family? 

I use this sugar cookie recipe. It is amazing and you will die and eat them all and gain 15 lbs. It will be worth it. 

I am not a tree. Got it.

Oh, hey. Hey there.

I just wanted to let you know that I have a midterm coming up. In other words, I just wanted to let you know that you have a bunch of random tutorials to look forward to.

I also have an assignment due on Thursday. It's a pretty big one. You wanna know the worst part? I don't like this class. I borderline hate this class. My professor is legit and it's whatever, but the material is just . . . blagh. I don't know how to pronounce that so take it as you will.

The thing is, I don't think I'm interested in my major anymore. I think I needed my major, and I think I have learned what I came to learn. And now I want to cry each time I think of going to this class, or going to the classes I am signed up for in the fall. 

That's not normal, right? You shouldn't want to cry at the thought of your major? Then I picture my life after graduation. You guys, I do not want to do what my major does. 

The thing is, I think I know what I want. I have been playing with an idea for over a year now, but lately it seems to be screaming at me.

I would have to take a bunch of pre-req classes, and then I would have to apply, and then it would take me two more years. I am a senior you guys. I've been here for a long time. And this is all if I even got accepted. gaaaaaaaaah someone guide my life for me. 

Wouldn't it be worth it though? In ten years I don't really see myself saying "Wow, I'm so glad I didn't spend two extra years in college so that I could do something I was interested in." I picture more of a "Heh, wouldn't it be horrible if I hadn't changed my major last minute and I was stuck in a 9-5 job that made me want to pull my hair out one piece at time? Yeah." 

What I really want to do is take a semester off and go move with my family to Morocco or the Caribbean or even just backpack through Europe and cut all my hair off in the process of "finding myself." I think this could also be classified as running from my fears.

I just want to know what will make me happy five years down the road. And what will not make me want to cry at the thought of class. 

via

... crap. 

Take a Chance

Day 16: something new

So this doesn't really fit the bill. I get that. 

The thing is that I haven't purchased anything new lately. 

 I have, however, been thinking new thoughts. 

I'm not exactly sure what's going on in my stars, but I can't help but notice my life offering me new opportunities lately. Not anything huge and/or life-changing, just things to alter my daily routine. I have come very close to turning all of these offers down simply because they fall outside of my comfort zone.  

And then I got an email:

"I know, from reading your blog, that you have your group of people you are comfortable with and it is hard for you to branch out but now would be an opportune moment to do so.  

One shouldn't be afraid to do anything, better to take a chance at something then to let it pass by. 

Take it from me, the true regrets in life are the choices that were never made, things that you let pass by.

You never know what can happen but at least you took a chance - if you let something pass by you won't even get a chance at what could be."

This email came from a blog reader. An inspired blog reader, to be more exact. I'm not sure how they knew, but I needed to hear that message today.