Living for me

What? I'm still alive?

With no facebook or twitter, I feel like my blog is the only thing connecting me to the outside world.

But, actually, I don't really want to be attached to the outside world.

A few months back I had some very big personal decisions to make, but somehow all of the details of my life seemed to be making their way into the minds of those around me.

I was approached by a number of people on many different occasions who either wanted to tell me what I should do, or wanted to listen to my plan and then tell me why it wasn't a good one.

Ward members, managers, parent's of friends, people I hadn't held a conversation with in years, they all seemed to know at least the minor details of my life, and they all seemed to think themselves privy to the correct solution.

It is possible that this bothered me more than it should have.

But the point is that it did actually bother me quite a bit.

I was trying so hard to listen to the Lord and do the things that He would have me do, and it was frustrating to me that other people thought they knew how to run my life better than I did. Even if that were true, I would rather make my own mistakes and learn from them.

I felt as though I was losing control of the situation, and that others were steering my life for me.

In the end I made a series of decisions that felt right to me, and I have not regretted them once.

However, I cannot pretend that, at the time, I was worried about what others would think regarding the route I took. And that just should not be something I have to worry about. I shouldn't have to second guess my intuition based on what someone else is telling me.

That is when I became aware of how much I was bothered by the amount of access people had to my life. So I decided to simply cut it off by cutting myself out. Hence the facebook deactivation. Hence the serious decline in the blog posts. Hence the publication of this post.

And honestly? I love it. I love living my life for me, instead of for the approval of others. I love that my life is my own, and that if someone wants to know any details, they have to come to me for the facts instead of making assumptions from my facebook page. I love that I am completely in control of what others do or do not know.

Maybe I will get over this one day, but for now I will continue to live for me.

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Before you go, you should really watch this music video.