6pm to 10am Mountain standard time.
3am to 7pm Israeli standard time.
Whichever way you look at it, that is how long I slept last night. When I woke up and saw my open closet at the foot of my bed I wondered what was hanging outside our window, obscuring my view of the dome. Insert empty and alone feeling here.
No fear, 280 dollars later and my itinerary was fixed. Delta flight 1105 from Atlanta, Georgia to Salt Lake International, riding along with the remaining of my J-ru family.
I did not call my mother, but instead decided to show up on her door step hours earlier than she was expecting. Thank you, Esplin family, for providing the transportation.
I was not aware of the fact that I was not ready for people. It was pathetic, really. My dear friend Sarah came over to decorate my room for my homecoming, not knowing I had arrived hours earlier than originally scheduled. I awkwardly hugged her, and then escaped to my shower where I knew I would not be bothered.
How anti-social can I get? Who actually hides in their shower? It was nothing short of pathetic. But, as I digested my thoughts, I realized that I was not ready to share Jerusalem, nor was I ready to let go. The events that took place over the past months hold noting short of a sacred place in my heart. I felt as though opening up to this new world would be a signal of my willingness to move on, to put Jerusalem in the past. But trying to answer questions and explain what had happened there would be an insult to the memory.
And so instead I cried some more, because that seems to be all that I have been doing. Crying for my friends, my views, my professors, my streets, my home. But as I sat there, hiding from the world that is now my reality, I gave myself a talking to. It went something like this:
Sadie, you are where you are for a reason. Were you meant to be in Jerusalem, you would be in Jerusalem. However, you are here, in your house, with your family and friends, and there is a reason for that. If you continue to yearn for the past and forget to live in the present, you're going to miss many vital opportunities. So get over it, and go figure out why you are here.
I will never forget Jerusalem, but I will also not allow it to keep me from progressing here.
"Do not let your comfort in the past outweigh your confidence in the future."
The following is meant for Jerusalem folk, just to let you know what happened after our departure from the center:
When we got on the Lucky Judd bus, sans Judd and half of our class, we were feeling a little empty inside.
In order to fill the void, Piers hopped right on the microphone and began telling us to look for Hebrew U at 12:00, and the sign we were about to hit on our left. Mallory took charge of the devotional, and the rest of the ride was spent in quest conversations. Upon arrival at the airport, Piers once again took the lead, telling everyone to bring headsets, scriptures, and their cheery dispositions. Somehow that made it ok to get off the bus. In Georgia we sang happy birthday to Mallory, and in Salt Lake we just cried a lot while assuring each other that it was not goodbye, rather "see you later".
3am to 7pm Israeli standard time.
Whichever way you look at it, that is how long I slept last night. When I woke up and saw my open closet at the foot of my bed I wondered what was hanging outside our window, obscuring my view of the dome. Insert empty and alone feeling here.
No fear, 280 dollars later and my itinerary was fixed. Delta flight 1105 from Atlanta, Georgia to Salt Lake International, riding along with the remaining of my J-ru family.
I did not call my mother, but instead decided to show up on her door step hours earlier than she was expecting. Thank you, Esplin family, for providing the transportation.
I was not aware of the fact that I was not ready for people. It was pathetic, really. My dear friend Sarah came over to decorate my room for my homecoming, not knowing I had arrived hours earlier than originally scheduled. I awkwardly hugged her, and then escaped to my shower where I knew I would not be bothered.
How anti-social can I get? Who actually hides in their shower? It was nothing short of pathetic. But, as I digested my thoughts, I realized that I was not ready to share Jerusalem, nor was I ready to let go. The events that took place over the past months hold noting short of a sacred place in my heart. I felt as though opening up to this new world would be a signal of my willingness to move on, to put Jerusalem in the past. But trying to answer questions and explain what had happened there would be an insult to the memory.
And so instead I cried some more, because that seems to be all that I have been doing. Crying for my friends, my views, my professors, my streets, my home. But as I sat there, hiding from the world that is now my reality, I gave myself a talking to. It went something like this:
Sadie, you are where you are for a reason. Were you meant to be in Jerusalem, you would be in Jerusalem. However, you are here, in your house, with your family and friends, and there is a reason for that. If you continue to yearn for the past and forget to live in the present, you're going to miss many vital opportunities. So get over it, and go figure out why you are here.
I will never forget Jerusalem, but I will also not allow it to keep me from progressing here.
"Do not let your comfort in the past outweigh your confidence in the future."
The following is meant for Jerusalem folk, just to let you know what happened after our departure from the center:
When we got on the Lucky Judd bus, sans Judd and half of our class, we were feeling a little empty inside.
In order to fill the void, Piers hopped right on the microphone and began telling us to look for Hebrew U at 12:00, and the sign we were about to hit on our left. Mallory took charge of the devotional, and the rest of the ride was spent in quest conversations. Upon arrival at the airport, Piers once again took the lead, telling everyone to bring headsets, scriptures, and their cheery dispositions. Somehow that made it ok to get off the bus. In Georgia we sang happy birthday to Mallory, and in Salt Lake we just cried a lot while assuring each other that it was not goodbye, rather "see you later".
Aw! I am so happy that Jerusalem was such a life-changing experience for you, Sadie. It's always so hard to transition out of things that make you a better person. But it sounds like you have a great attitude about it thus far--just remember that everything truly does happen for a reason, that God has a plan for you, and that KRISTI LOVES YOU!!! :) Hope you feel better soon!
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