My Year of Lasts

This year will be my senior year in highschool, and recently the worry-about-everything side of me has been coming out. While going to college is an exciting thought, it's also one of the scariest things I think I've ever done.

It wasn't until recently that I really understood what the whole concept of moving out entails. For years the thought of living in the dorms brought images of cute pbteen dorm rooms and endless slumber parties, now however, reality is hitting, and this once blissful thought is now replaced with thoughts of paying rent, gas prices, groceries, and so forth. Then to go even further in ruining my dreams, my thoughts of slumber parties are slowly but surely being taken over by the fear that I will not get along with even one of my roommates, and the fun and games will turn into drama and tears. I also now have the understanding that, while in college, I will actually have to go to classes, and do my homework. I'm not one-hundred percent positive how I've missed this fact in past years, however I do think that i will blame one main source. The media. I mean lets be honest. When was the last time you saw a movie with college students who were sitting in class, doing homework, and studying for finals? Possibly I'm the only one whose noticed, but it seems to me that in the majority of movies college is portrayed as the time to live a party-centered care-free life.

So the other day when I went back-to-school shopping with my mom for the last time ever, I must admit that I was a little sad. It's weird to think that this will be my last Christmas when I actually live at home, and that I will probably never get another easter dress after this one.

I think that the main reason I'm finding these thoughts so sad is because I feel like my life will actually start after this year. There aren't any second chances. It wont be like a grammar test, where if I mess up and I can study and re-take. I feel like up to now life has been set out for me, but after this last year of highschool it will really be up to me to decide how my life goes, and thats a scary thought!

So, wish me luck. After this last year, I'm heading out to start my life in the real world :)