In which I narrate my infant's thoughts

I know what you're thinking. Sadie gives birth and suddenly her blog is nothing but baby pictures?

That is correct. 

I know, right? No one likes a crazy overload of anything pictures, let alone baby pictures. But YOU GUYS, I swear my baby is adorable and he is the only exception to the "we all hate your baby pictures" rule. 

Also, what other option do I have? I can't possibly post every picture I want to post on Instagram because people would riot in the streets. To the blog I turn. 

Behold, my beautiful baby. Gorge your eyes. 

Mom, what is that. Get it away. Do not come closer.

No? Still coming? Ok, but I AM THE MOST INDEPENDENT CHILD EVER KNOWN so I must hold it myself.

Alright, I did it. I held it in my mouth for three seconds, spit it out, and now we are done.
Thank you for your time.  

Wait no mom did you not understand?! I said we are done! Get that thing away!

You fools. What part of "get that thing away from me" did you not understand? DID I STUTTER? 

I WILL TAKE NO MORE! *goes into full baby "I hate this and you are going to know it" mode*

Mmm. Yes. Much better. How well I have trained you. 

Better luck next time.