You guys,

THIS IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously.

I do this every single morning as I am getting ready. 

As I have to be to work each day at an unearthly hour, I am always the first one up and usually spend at least the first 30 minutes of my getting ready routine alone.

This is not good for my imagination.

You see, I watch a lot of AMW and Disappeared and I read the testimonies of people like Elizabeth Smart and the Wiki pages of Ted Bundy.

Long story short, I freak myself out. 

This morning in particular was pretty bad. I actually had a full-on gun scene going on in my mind.

What would I do if someone walked in with a gun?

I decided that I would scream. That way at least one of my roommates would wake up, and then what? He'd shoot me? Ok, cause that wouldn't wake people up. And even if he did shoot me and I died then my family would know what had happened instead of wondering if a runner would come across my mutilated body. 

Or maybe I would be lucky? Maybe he would just get me in the arm or somewhere that wouldn't kill me. I would writhe in pain and he would realize he'd already drawn too much attention. He'd run away as fast as possible and I'd become Utah's biggest news story since Elizabeth Smart.   

"20 year old BYU student shot in apartment: Offender gets away."

Or what if the worst happened? What if I screamed and then he pulled some ninja move and knocked me out and carried me away? Would any of my roommates come to check, or would they just assume I'd seen a spider?

They would fall back asleep and no one would know I was gone for at least twelve hours. When they woke up they'd think I was off to work, and it wouldn't be until late at night when Jennie hadn't heard from me all day that she would start to worry. 

"20 year old BYU student goes missing: Roommates say they heard screams in early morning."

But it's ok you guys. I once confessed my fears of going missing to my brother, who responded by saying, "you know if you go missing I'll start killing people until I find you, right?" It was oddly the most comforting thing anyone has ever said to me. 

...

On that note, I am thinking of changing my major to Sociology and going to grad school in Criminology. But my life plan basically changes every day so we shall see.