The Animal Kingdom

Bird: Marlin. He bit, ate my cereal, and flat out freaked me out. I don't really remember what happened to him, but I remember that I wasn't too sorry that he was gone.

Fish(s): In first grade my teacher brought fish to class for an object lesson. The lesson? No idea. What I do remember is that one lucky 1st grader was chosen to bring the fish home: me. I was beyond happy. Me, a pet owner! I remember walking home that day, driving the other people INSANE with my fish bragging. Unfortunately, my bliss was short lived. The next day, Goldie and Goldie Jr passed away. I honestly cried for hours, or at least, what seemed like hours to a six year old.

Bird: Name? Bird. My family has never been very creative with the names (refer to Goldie and Goldie Jr). I loved Bird, our relationship went as deep as a girl and bird can go. Man, the book The Goose Girl just came to mind, and I guess my previous statement is not necessarily true. Nevertheless, we were close. I loved the way Bird would chew the buttons on the remote, and the day we got a new TV and threw the bird-bitten remote away was hard for me to get through. I know my mom was driven insane by Bird, she would crawl around on my mother's quilts and pull out all of the pins. Occasionally, Bird would feel the urge to join you and your cereal bowl on the table. Simply looking at the cereal was not enough, however. Bird seemed to deem it necessary to actually jump into the bowl, giving herself a nice bath. I loved Bird. True, I didn't have to clean the cage, I only played with her, so my view may be tainted. I still remember the day Bird flew away. Going out to the porch, finding her door open and the cage empty. I was so mad at Dan for not clipping her wings like he was suppose to. For weeks I would lay in bed with my window open, whistling, hoping that Bird would hear it and fly home. For obvious reasons, I have not confided that fact in anyone.

Cats: Nameless, but they were black. One Halloween, Dan found some black cats walking around. Naturally, he was afraid for their lives, so he brought them home and kept them in the garage. They freaked me out. Their creepy little eyes, visible 24/7. I wasn't very sad when they had to go.

Doge: Do not be mistaken. The Crookston family has never actually owned a dog, my mother wouldn't hear of it. Polly Crookston, however, has. And, when Polly came to stay, the dogs came with her. Though I was in my early teens, I was freaked out. Once, when I was little, my dad brought a dog home. But this was not just any dog, this was a giant, white, taller than three-year-old Sadie kinda dog. I flipped. I was positive my dad had brought home a wolf, and that it was going to eat me. I say this in all seriousness, and still now, looking back, the memory seems more like a distant nightmare. Overdramatic? No. I was honestly scarred for life. Here was this giant wolf, casing me around my house as I screamed and cried, and no one was even going to save me. I blame my fear of dogs on that moment. Needless to say, I never really formed a bond with Polly's dogs.

There was a point in my life, around 5-7th grade, when I thought I knew what I wanted: a dog. Rachel Perry had a dog, Becca Bradshaw had a dog, I wanted a dog. As time went on, however, I came to my senses and realized that I, Sadie Loraine, wanted nothing to do with the canine kingdom.

And then, one fateful day in French class, I met my fate. Hence the use of the word "fateful." I remember it well. I was sitting next to Devin Hammer in Monsieur Neilsen's class, and we were learning about farm animals. Le cochon. The pig. The slide picture was projected on the wall, and I fell in love. Something inside of me realized that I was fanatic about pigs. And so the obsession started. I began my collection: piggy banks. I could never had enough. Pig earrings, pig lanyards, pig stuffed animals, pig slippers. Brittany Murphy had a pet pig in Uptown Girls, why couldn't I have a pet pig in real life? I was a girl with her first love, and it was serious business.

Now my pig fetish is well known among friends and family, and has gained me some ridicule. However, I believe that anyone who knows me at all will understand the appeal that the following holds:

Teacup Pigs.
These things were made for me!! Adorable, small, trainable, only 45,000 dollars... I can honestly say that I have never wanted a pet so badly. Oh, little pig, why must you be so unrealistically expensive?