My Life Is Average

Today I was sitting at a red light and a car pulled up next to me. Their music was up really loud and kind of getting on my nerves. As I sat there listening, I realized it was 'The Imperial March.' I looked over to see Darth Vader staring me down from the passenger seat. We stared at each other, I in awe, for about 20 seconds until the light changed. The car sped away as Darth held a red lightsaber out the window. I must find these people. MLIA.

Today I was sitting outside of Starbucks. A teenage girl walked by wearing a T-shirt reading "Bite Me. (Vampires Only)." I then see a nine-year-old girl walk up to this teenager, bite her arm, and say "Harry Potter pwns," and then walk away. Her mother then told her, "Good job, sweetie."

Today, I went grocery shopping with my dad. We realized we forgot to get something in an aisle we had just passed. We pretended to rewind ourselves and made sound effects. People clapped. MLIA

Today, in church, I was sitting next to a little boy who is 4 years old. Hi family speaks spanish, so he never talks to people at church. During the service, he tapped my knee, rolled up his pant leg, and pointed to his spiderman suit under his clothes. After rolling his pant leg back down, he put his finger to his lips and continued watching the service. New favorite kid? I think so. MLIA

Today, I was at Target buying footy pajamas for my school's pajama day. In line in front of me were two girls that go to school with me and were buying the usual, very revealing nightdresses. When they saw what I was buying, they made fun of me very loudly, causing the hot cashier to notice. When I got to the register, he gave me a high five and his number. I win. MLIA

Today, I recieved a phone call at 11:11. The caller told me to look outside, then hung up. Someone had raked all of the pinecones in my front yard into letters to spell out MAKE A WISH. My house number is 1111. Thank you mysterious stranger. You just made my day. MLIA.

Last night, I fell asleep with the TV on. At 4 am I woke up, only to see a giant Curious George reporting the weather. Now I wonder if the Newspeople have this much fun EVERY night. MLIA.

Today, I was babysitting a two year old girl. We were playing with her toy trains, and she told me that she had a nightmare last night. I asked her what it was about. She looked up at me with wide, serious eyes and whispered "Asparagus". MLIA.

Today, I was looking at a rack of clearance shoes at the mall. One box said "110% off" "sale price -$0.03" I grabbed the box and took them to the front to point out the mistake. The lady at the register scanned the box and then proceeded to hand me 3 pennies, my receipt, and the shoes. I just got paid to buy shoes. MLIA

Today I decided to mess with the operators of a text question answering service. I texted, "Where can I hide the bodies?" They texted back, "Find the closest river, wait until nightfall." MLIA

Today, my DA called everyone in my dorm down to the lobby at 3am. I thought we were in trouble, until I saw a giant twister mat. Better yet, underneath the twister mat was epic amounts of bubble wrap. I love college.

Today, I found an old report card from when I was in the 2nd grade. My teacher wrote about how I was a normal student...except for my desire to be a cloud when I got older. MLIA.

Today, I went in for knee surgery. While they were wheeling in my hospital bed, I saw 6 assistants and the surgeon singing the power rangers theme song while in a huddle. I was no longer worried about anything. MLIA

Today, I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, when my younger brother runs up to the door and shoots me with his imaginary gun. I play along and fall down, I layed there for a few minutes, when my brother comes back and gives me a weird look. He grabbed my arms and dragged me off, when he saw my mom, she asked what he was doing and he replied with "Im disposing of the evidence." MLIA.

Today, I was singing in my room. I noticed birds were flying around a tree and tweeting happily through my open window. This made me wonder if I'm secretly a Disney princess. That thought disturbed me a little, as I'm a guy. MLIA

I bought a pair of black "nerd glasses". I decided to wear them around my college campus. A guy wearing a button down shirt and "nerd glasses" ran up to me screaming "Lois Lane where have you been? I've looked all over for you!" He then took off his glasses and unbuttoned his shirt revealing a superman t-shirt underneath. Needless to say Lois Lane and Clark Kent are going out on friday night. MLIA

Today, I asked my teacher when we were getting our Biology tests back because I was really anxious to see what I got. She proceeded to tell me It won't be for a while because her and her husband are in an intense Mario kart competition and she doesn't have time. I can deal with that. MLIA.

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